1: “Apps with metadata that mentions the name of any other mobile platform will be rejected” – No Android for you! 2: “Apps that artificially increase the number of impressions or click-throughs of ads will be rejected” – Don’t be greedy. 3: “App user interfaces that mimic any iPod interface will be rejected” – Who makes that Remote app that looks just like iPod.app? 4: “Apps that alter the functions of standard switches, such as the Volume Up/Down and Ring/Silent switches, will be rejected” – Camera+! 5: “Apps containing “rental” content or services that expire after a limited time will be rejected” – iTunes TV show and movie rentals FTW! 6: “Apps that encourage users to use an Apple Device in a way that may cause damage to the device will be rejected” – Don’t break me! 7: “Apps that include games of Russian roulette will be rejected” – No comment. 8: “Apps that contain user generated content that is frequently pornographic (ex “Chat Roulette” apps) will be rejected” – Until there’s an API to keep clothes on. …And how can I forget my personal all-time favorite: “We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don’t need any more Fart apps.” – Hi, Phillip! Hope you enjoyed the commentary.